THE SIKH TEMPLE (GURDWARA)

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Gurdwaras are open and welcoming to all. Here's some details on what to expect in the temple, and how to dress and behave. If you have any questions, please e-mail us — and if in doubt, follow the crowd!

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The gurdwara is organised around the Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh holy book. Guru means teacher in Punjabi and Sikh means student. The Guru Granth Sahib contains the writings of the ten Gurus who lived in north-west India between the 15th and 18th centuries. We ask you to follow a few simple rules to honour and respect the wisdom contained in it:

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• Please remove your shoes while in the gurdwara hall (there are shoe racks provided).

• Please cover your head while in the gurdwara. Men should wear a scarf tied around the head (we'll bring plenty for all the gentlemen); women can wear any scarf that covers the hair (Indian outfits usually include a chunni or dupatta for this purpose; we'll have some spare chunnis if anyone needs one). But please don't wear hats or caps in the gurdwara.

• The congregation sits on the floor (there will be chairs at the back of the hall for those who find this difficult). Please don't sit with the soles of your feet facing the Guru Granth Sahib, and don't stand with your back to it.

• Very young children don't need to cover their hair. The ceremony can be quite long for children (about an hour and a half in total), but it's quite informal:

  • It's OK for children to lie down, but please point their feet away from the Guru Granth Sahib.

  • Feel free to go in and out with children as you need.

  • It's also OK for kids to play with toys in the gurdwara, as long as they're quiet and not disruptive.

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Generally, men sit on one side and women on the other (children can sit with either parent).

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When entering the gurdwara for the first time, we bow before the Guru Granth Sahib and place a donation in the box in front of it. These donations are used to support the operations of the gurdwara, including the langar, or free kitchen. The langar is an integral part of all Sikh temples and provides meals to all comers with ingredients supplied by donations from the congregation and prepared by volunteers.

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You can wear shoes in the langar hall, but please keep your head covered as this is still a part of the temple.

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ANAND KARAJ

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Anand Karaj (meaning 'joyful ceremony') is the Sikh marriage ceremony. We begin at 9:30 with the arrival of the barat (groom and family). First, the priest will say the ardaas, which is the prayer used at the beginning and end of important events (please remain quiet during this). This is followed by the milni, or introductions. Amy's and Saajan's fathers will exchange garlands to symbolise the two families joining together. The milni traditionally happens in the temple courtyard, but given the time of year we'll be doing it in the lobby!

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After the milni, the guests are welcomed into the langar hall for breakfast and tea. Samosas, pakoras, sweets, tea and water will be set out on the tables — just find a space and dig in!

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Next, we move upstairs to the gurdwara itself. Ragis (Musicians) sing shabads (devotional hymns) as the congregation enters, followed by the groom and his family, and finally the bride and her family. The couple's close family sit immediately behind them to help them during the ceremony.

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Once everyone is in place, the bride's and groom's immediate families stand for an ardaas, and then we do the palla ceremony. The bride's father takes the end of the groom's palla (scarf) and hands it to his daughter. This symbolises the joining of the couple in marriage.

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The heart of the wedding ceremony is the laavan, which are the four verses of a shabad that is sung to formalise the marriage. Each verse is first read and then sung by the ragis. During the singing, the couple walk together around the Guru Granth Sahib, with the bride still holding the groom's palla. The bride's brother stands behind the Guru Granth Sahib to symbolise his support.

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The fourth Guru, Guru Ram Das Ji, wrote the verses of the laavan for his own wedding. The first verse talks about letting go of the past and starting a new phase of life. The second verse talks about achieving joy by seeing God in all things. The third verse is about how our love for each other and for God grows through understanding of the Gurus' words. The fourth verse completes the marriage, and talks about the couple joining together to become one soul in two bodies.

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The ragis sing three more shabads, starting with Anand Sahib (the song of joy). Finally, the whole congregation stands for an ardaas, after which volunteers circulate offering everyone karah parshaad, a sweet made from wheat and semolina flour fried in clarified butter. Receiving and eating parshaad is an important part of any event in the gurdwara, but if you can't eat it for a medical reason please don't take it — it should not be thrown away. To accept parshaad from a volunteer, face the Guru Granth Sahib holding out both your hands cupped together. Tissues to wipe your hands after receiving parshaad are recommended!

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The morning's events conclude with a vegetarian buffet lunch downstairs. There's no assigned seating, just grab some food and find a space.